I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
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My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
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