I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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