ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize