Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Randomize
