no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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