I seem to have left my pride at pride
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
