Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
