Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
