yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Randomize
