I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
