you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
