How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
