Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
