He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
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