We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
