i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
