i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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