He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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