He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
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He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
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I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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