Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
