WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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