Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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