Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
