Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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