i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
