We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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