He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
