i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
