hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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