i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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