just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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