At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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