I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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