WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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