I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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