im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize