I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
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He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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