So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
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We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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