let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
