Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
