I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
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Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
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I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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