I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
