dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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