but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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