She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Someone came in the potted fern
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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