do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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