trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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