it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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