I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
