I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
