He asked to "fluff my boner.."
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize