As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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