we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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