drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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