I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
