I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So much rum. So many feels.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize