Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
